Winter's blossoms

Happy 6 months Lew

My dear beautiful daughter,

You are 6 months old now and I don't even have to say it, do I? Half a year already? Really?! And you are cruising right along, my dear. Speeding past milestones and racing head long towards your brother. You've been crawling (and I use the term lightly. It's forward motion that involves hands, knees, feet, belly and, sometimes, your face) for about a month now. It's still shocking to put you on the floor, leave the room for just a few, quick moments and come back to find you on the other side of that room desperately trying to squeeze your head under the couch. There must be some really great toys under there. Or fabulously gross dust bunnies - equally, if not more appealing. But you move the fastest for Asa. My goodness, how you love him. You can see it in your eyes, this focused intent and intense adoration. As soon as his little voice is audible, your head turns, your ears perk and you track the sound. Target spotted, you gear up. Flipping over from your back to belly in one quick and awkward swoop, eyes still locked on your goal, you start to move. It's a crawling-scampering-drag of the body, you might say, complete with huge grunts of effort and sighs of exasperation. Closer and closer you squirm, wiggling and hopping and struggling the whole long way across the carpet. Then right there, right at the very point of your destination, right when you're about to grab a glorious fistful of Asa's hair....he snatches his head back and won't let you have it. It's momentarily heart breaking and I think you might cry, what with your tiny hopes so quickly dashed and all. But you are fine. A small smile passes your lips and you start again, head down, butt up, body moving ever towards its target.

You are hungry as can be and grab at any food that passes by you (though the only thing you actually eaten is banana and rice cereal). You took to eating very fast and you happily gobble up spoonful after spoonful of whatever is offered. I think if you had it your way you’d eat a lot more solid foods, but for now it’s just one, sometimes two servings a day. Don’t worry love, there’s more to some!

You have started making the most interesting sounds I may have every heard. Truly little one, it is weird. It's hard to describe accurately, so I will have to record it soon for posterity, but I'd say it's akin to a cat yowling or a small dog growling. No really. And you do it mostly when you're excited. You love it when we hoist your little body up into the air, a tiny toss over the head. It's on the way down, when I imagine that feeling of falling hits your belly like butterflies, that your strange little call bursts out. "Yaawwwooarrrw!" Or something close to that. Followed by a tiny snort that is almost a giggle. Sometimes Asa and his best friend Harper will "talk" to you by imitating the sound back to you. Of course, being 2.5 year olds, this is best done inches from your face and at very high volume. And you love it. You smile that mouth wide open, cheek splitting smile and yowl right back at them. It really is the best sound in the world. Strange and grunty and unrefined, it is the sound of absolute joy. I like to think of it sort of as a talking/laughing/growl thing. One to get attention and express your joy. I will definitely miss it when it's gone.

We’ve moved you out of the bed and into the Pak n Play right next to us. So far it’s been a pretty seamless transition and you seem to like your little bed. We usually swaddle you at night, but you’re already strong enough to wiggle out rather quickly. You’ve even managed to flip yourself over a few times, which seems difficult and uncomfortable, but for the most part you sleep quietly on your back, tightly tucked in your swaddle, mouth agape and eyes twitching. Really, your nighttime sleep is pretty awesome with 4 – 6 hour stretches between feedings. It’s the daytime naps that are a little rougher. You just don’t want to sleep for more than 30, maybe 40 minutes at a time. You’ll fall asleep easily enough, but up you pop, sometimes just 20 minutes later, ready for more action. I suspect you hear your brother (despite the music we play at a slightly higher than is necessary volume in your room) and don’t want to miss out on the fun. Sometimes when you seem fast asleep, dead to the world in that serious konked out baby sleep, he’ll some walking through the room talking or laughing or playing some noisy toy and POP! There they are, gorgeous grey eyes wide open and ready with a big ‘ol smile to match.

You know something else amazing about you? You always wake up happy. Every. Single. Time. For real! It's astounding to me, especially after Asa whom I'm pretty sure has never once woken up anything but gah-rum-py! After every nap, every doze, every long night-time stretch you wake with the biggest smile your tiny face can manage. You pack so much smile into those little features - your mouth open wide, stretched at the corners even, cracked open with joy. Your eyes and nose crinkle in the massive smile, your ears even push up, accenting that gorgeous grin. It is just awesome. Even when you're sick (which you have been for the past week or so. Nothing bad, just your first, lingering cold) you wake smiling. I'll hear you start to cough in the middle of the night. It's that awful baby cough too, tiny and terrible. Just the sound of it makes me feel bad for you, let alone the way your little body heaves with the hacking or the bright red spots that dot your eyes after a particularly rough bout. I scramble quickly to the Pak n' Play at the foot of the bed, expecting every time to see a sad, crying baby who needs to be picked up and helped and rocked and eased back to sleep. But no, it's my Lew, my happy little girl with a smile bigger than her own little self. As soon as I peek my head over the lip of that crib, there it is, that fantastic smile, cracking right across your face and lighting up your eyes. It hits me like a ton of happy bricks, this brilliant smack in the face. It makes me happy to see it, every time. (It also makes it a whole lot harder to be mad about getting up at a million o'clock AGAIN.)

You are such a bright spark of joy in our lives Lew, how could we have ever done this without you? After only 6 months it is absolutely impossible to imagine our lives any other way. You are here now and somehow it's like you always were. Your laugh is new, but so very familiar. Your big brother is proud and protective, eager to play with you and happy to scramble around the living room floor with you. You are a grey eyed, bald headed, big eared beauty. You are willful and loud and almost always smiling. You are daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin and niece. Lew, Lew-Lew, Llewella you are a perfect fit to our quirky little family. I am so glad you are here.

Love,

Mama

Halloween

Asa's friend

Summer sunshine

Green beans galore

Llewella 3 months

Dear Llewella,

You are nearly three months old now and writing those words down can't make me believe it. Three months, really?! I feel like you've only just slipped into our lives, ingratiated your little self right into our hearts only moments ago. Weren't you just born? Wait, wasn’t I just pregnant?!

You are speeding through your milestones, wasting no time whatsoever. What are you in such a hurry for, love? You are holding your head up frighteningly well. We lay you on your tummy - first in your little baby sleeper up on the kitchen table (which, I assure you, was actually the safest place in the house these days, despite being 3 feet off the ground) and now in the pack n’ play that takes up 30% of our teeny, tiny living room) and POP! Your adorable little head shoots right up and turns around, surveying the scene. Your crane left, stretch right and smile a little wobbly smile before plunking back down for a short break. Five or ten seconds later its POP! and you're up again.

You've been smiling for a little while now and there are few things in this world that bring such joy. When you wake up we turn you over (you are almost always sleeping on your stomach these days) and your sleepy eyes start to roll around, blinking open in the light. A few moments to focus is all it takes, and there it is, a huge, cheek splitting smile cracks. Your mouth opens as wide as possible, your little pert nose crinkles up and the skin around your eyes wrinkles - your whole face is smiling. The biggest possible smile erupts onto your little face and it breaks my heart into a thousand happy pieces.

You're also seen fit to roll over already. You crazy girl. And it happened about four weeks ago now! We had family visiting from out of town - I guess you wanted a bit of an audience. Your great-auntie TiTi was holding you, happily bouncing you around the house as cousins played, uncles grilled and grandma (also a great-grandma) basked in the happy family glow. We placed you on your tummy in the middle of the bed and watched you start. First that head came popping back up - you looked around, smiled back at the smiling faces surrounding you, then dropped that head back down. Up came those little knees, toes digging into sheets and push, push, pushing away. You struggled with it, turning and twisting from side to side, those little legs kicking out the whole time. And you caught it, you found the right hold, your body was there. One more little push and your tumbled right on over, landing on your back with an ear splitting smile to the applause of your doting family. Way to go little one!

We call you Lew these days, or Lew-Lew. Asa and his friends all call you Baby Lew-Lew, as if you needed that distinction. You are a fantastic nurser (and I must attribute at least some of that to my own second time around breast-feeding skills), eating every 3-4 hours during the day with a much longer stretch at night. You sleep wonderfully. At night. During the day there's little cat naps, but nothing lasting more than an hour, occasionally two. But when night time rolls around you are ready. We do out last feeding around 10 or 11, about the time of day I can no longer keep my eyes open. You happily devour your fill and then get all swaddled up or fall asleep on my chest. It's one or the other these days. You usually sleep part of the night swaddled up next to me, and the other part sleeping right on top of me, curled on my chest. It's not always the best sleep for me, but it's some sort of sleep, and it keeps you happy for much longer. Doing it this way we only wake up once in the night to feed, usually around 3 or 4, and then slip right back into sleep until your brother wakes around 6:30. Its really quite lovely, and the feel of your warm, tiny body against mine is delicious.

Asa loves you dearly and to be witness to that love is a joy greater than any other. He comes upt o you many times a day, pets the back of his hand against your head and coos “aww, lewlew. So tiny!” before bouncing back on his way. You are the first person he checks for when entering a room and the last person he kisses to bed at night. When you cry, Asa often drops what he’s doing (literally) and dashes to your side. He grabs your hand, strokes your head and puts his cheek against yours. “No cry Lewlew, Asa here” and, even though the sound of an infant crying at that decibel is mind-numbingly shrill, his attention to you is absolutely precious and I live for those moments.

Thank you for completing the circle.

Love,

Mom