Llewella 9 months

My Dear Llewella,

I should really begin this letter Dear Lew Lew, because that is what you are called these days. I love this nick-name and I think it suits you beautifully. It is small and lively, like you, it is happy and makes you smile as it rolls off the tongue. Much like you, my love. It is nearly impossible to be angry while in your presence. Your smile is infectious. As soon as it bursts across your face all life within a certain radius brightens, as if of its own accord. I feel almost certain that this name will follow you, that you’ll be somewhat stuck with it through your childhood and perhaps into your adolescence. I imagine someday you will tire of a childish name and you’ll insist on being called by your full, grown up name. But that day can wait, Lew Lew.

You have teeth now. Well, two of them. The two bottom ones. They came in together, just like your brother's, at about 7 months. Unlike Asa though, those are it so far. I have to say that I find it ridiculously cute to see those two big (well, they’re quite little actually, but surrounded by an otherwise empty mouth they seem quite large) teeth sticking straight into your enormous grin. And that grin is something we all see often. In fact, more often than not. Your beaming smile hardly ever leaves your little face. Truly. When I hear you stir and start to wake I come over to your crib and am nearly blown down by the force of your happiness. Cheeks split and mouth agape, your eyes crinkle into the brightness of your smile and the whole world would come to its knees in that moment Lew, I swear. You squeak with happiness, tiny grunting laughs that escape your smiling lips. It’s the happiest sound I know. Even at 3am, when every mother wishes for nothing but sleeping children, your happiness gets me. Even as I, frustrated and tired, stomp to your bedroom to respond to your late nights requests, I know that smile will get me, melt me and my anger in seconds flat. I round the corner, resolve like steel, ready to be stern and get you back to sleep. Crack the door and you hear the hinges. Your still nearly bald little head whips around with the sound and BAM! Like lightening the joy spreads across your face and I give up. You win, happy baby.

You eat nearly anything and everything these days, so long as it’s nice and mushy. Bananas still reign supreme but lentils and rice, oatmeal and scrambled eggs seem to be top contenders as well. Your favorite food though would have to be whatever Asa is eating. Seriously. As soon as you see him sit down with a bowl or plate you are on him, quick as can be. Asa sits as far back into the couch as he can, placing himself as far away from your little grabby hands as he can. You stand at the edge of the couch, on tip toe, reaching with all your short arm might. Sometimes, when he’s distracted a moment and forgets his vigilant guard, you swoop in, stealthy and quiet all of the sudden. You snatch at the PB&J, grab, twist and flop to the ground, ready to crawl away at top speed with your prize. The moment when your dad or I take it away is quite possibly the saddest of the day. And those teeth are equally as cute when framed in a frown.

You love, love, LOVE to watch Asa drum. And he loves it too. He sits behind his little blue kit, sticks a-ready as he waits for your to stand yourself up, holding the floor tom. As soon as you’re ready, he begins. At the first bang you are ready and going, bouncing up and down, dancing and squealing along with him. Sometimes Asa even gives you a drumstick and the look on your face as you receive that gift is absolutely wondrous. Like you just can’t believe your luck. You are so thankful as you start to bang away on the drums with him, squealing in delight and brimming with elation.

I have to say that we all thought you’d be walking by now. You pulled yourself up to stand at 6 months, started cruising around 7.5. You love to walk around the house behind the big wheeley car with handles too. Lately you’ve been standing on your own (we call it free standing and I like that because it sounds like some crazy, adventurous, thrill-seeker type sport) but no forward movement. For now, crawling gets you there much faster. And you have Asa to keep up with - who has time for slow, precarious walking? Certainly not you, love, you’ve got places to be!

Your favorite place to be these days, is in the bath with Asa. You both really love that lately. I fill it up just five or six inches and sit right on the other side of the tub as you sit and splash next to your brother. You could sit for ages grabbing at the thin stream of water pouring from the faucet or trying to get your hands on whatever toy Asa has. You laugh and squeak and squeal and chirp and coo your happiness aloud as we play in there. But your cooing doesn’t stop once you’re toweled off. Oh no, you love “talking” these days. Especially with Asa. He’ll get himself right in your face and start with a “Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah” sound. You watch, intent and serious, then crack a huge smile and start in with him, “yayayayayaya!” you shout along side. Then Asa will change it to “Bah-bah-bahbah!” and you follow suit. It's really quite loud, but I can’t get enough of it.

Lew Lew, it’s the cliché of all clichés, but my love you are growing so fast! You are so very….you. It’s simply that. There is a person, a totally unique, new to this world person and she bubbles out a little more every day. With every new sound and every beaming smile she emerges a little more. One day you will be a woman and that thought blows me down, chokes me up a little with pride, anticipation and a slight sadness, if only for the thought of this precious baby leaving, evolving into something else…. For now though, you are my little Lew Lew and I could not love you more. Thank you love, for bringing such joy with you.

Love,

Mom

Winter's blossoms

Happy 6 months Lew

My dear beautiful daughter,

You are 6 months old now and I don't even have to say it, do I? Half a year already? Really?! And you are cruising right along, my dear. Speeding past milestones and racing head long towards your brother. You've been crawling (and I use the term lightly. It's forward motion that involves hands, knees, feet, belly and, sometimes, your face) for about a month now. It's still shocking to put you on the floor, leave the room for just a few, quick moments and come back to find you on the other side of that room desperately trying to squeeze your head under the couch. There must be some really great toys under there. Or fabulously gross dust bunnies - equally, if not more appealing. But you move the fastest for Asa. My goodness, how you love him. You can see it in your eyes, this focused intent and intense adoration. As soon as his little voice is audible, your head turns, your ears perk and you track the sound. Target spotted, you gear up. Flipping over from your back to belly in one quick and awkward swoop, eyes still locked on your goal, you start to move. It's a crawling-scampering-drag of the body, you might say, complete with huge grunts of effort and sighs of exasperation. Closer and closer you squirm, wiggling and hopping and struggling the whole long way across the carpet. Then right there, right at the very point of your destination, right when you're about to grab a glorious fistful of Asa's hair....he snatches his head back and won't let you have it. It's momentarily heart breaking and I think you might cry, what with your tiny hopes so quickly dashed and all. But you are fine. A small smile passes your lips and you start again, head down, butt up, body moving ever towards its target.

You are hungry as can be and grab at any food that passes by you (though the only thing you actually eaten is banana and rice cereal). You took to eating very fast and you happily gobble up spoonful after spoonful of whatever is offered. I think if you had it your way you’d eat a lot more solid foods, but for now it’s just one, sometimes two servings a day. Don’t worry love, there’s more to some!

You have started making the most interesting sounds I may have every heard. Truly little one, it is weird. It's hard to describe accurately, so I will have to record it soon for posterity, but I'd say it's akin to a cat yowling or a small dog growling. No really. And you do it mostly when you're excited. You love it when we hoist your little body up into the air, a tiny toss over the head. It's on the way down, when I imagine that feeling of falling hits your belly like butterflies, that your strange little call bursts out. "Yaawwwooarrrw!" Or something close to that. Followed by a tiny snort that is almost a giggle. Sometimes Asa and his best friend Harper will "talk" to you by imitating the sound back to you. Of course, being 2.5 year olds, this is best done inches from your face and at very high volume. And you love it. You smile that mouth wide open, cheek splitting smile and yowl right back at them. It really is the best sound in the world. Strange and grunty and unrefined, it is the sound of absolute joy. I like to think of it sort of as a talking/laughing/growl thing. One to get attention and express your joy. I will definitely miss it when it's gone.

We’ve moved you out of the bed and into the Pak n Play right next to us. So far it’s been a pretty seamless transition and you seem to like your little bed. We usually swaddle you at night, but you’re already strong enough to wiggle out rather quickly. You’ve even managed to flip yourself over a few times, which seems difficult and uncomfortable, but for the most part you sleep quietly on your back, tightly tucked in your swaddle, mouth agape and eyes twitching. Really, your nighttime sleep is pretty awesome with 4 – 6 hour stretches between feedings. It’s the daytime naps that are a little rougher. You just don’t want to sleep for more than 30, maybe 40 minutes at a time. You’ll fall asleep easily enough, but up you pop, sometimes just 20 minutes later, ready for more action. I suspect you hear your brother (despite the music we play at a slightly higher than is necessary volume in your room) and don’t want to miss out on the fun. Sometimes when you seem fast asleep, dead to the world in that serious konked out baby sleep, he’ll some walking through the room talking or laughing or playing some noisy toy and POP! There they are, gorgeous grey eyes wide open and ready with a big ‘ol smile to match.

You know something else amazing about you? You always wake up happy. Every. Single. Time. For real! It's astounding to me, especially after Asa whom I'm pretty sure has never once woken up anything but gah-rum-py! After every nap, every doze, every long night-time stretch you wake with the biggest smile your tiny face can manage. You pack so much smile into those little features - your mouth open wide, stretched at the corners even, cracked open with joy. Your eyes and nose crinkle in the massive smile, your ears even push up, accenting that gorgeous grin. It is just awesome. Even when you're sick (which you have been for the past week or so. Nothing bad, just your first, lingering cold) you wake smiling. I'll hear you start to cough in the middle of the night. It's that awful baby cough too, tiny and terrible. Just the sound of it makes me feel bad for you, let alone the way your little body heaves with the hacking or the bright red spots that dot your eyes after a particularly rough bout. I scramble quickly to the Pak n' Play at the foot of the bed, expecting every time to see a sad, crying baby who needs to be picked up and helped and rocked and eased back to sleep. But no, it's my Lew, my happy little girl with a smile bigger than her own little self. As soon as I peek my head over the lip of that crib, there it is, that fantastic smile, cracking right across your face and lighting up your eyes. It hits me like a ton of happy bricks, this brilliant smack in the face. It makes me happy to see it, every time. (It also makes it a whole lot harder to be mad about getting up at a million o'clock AGAIN.)

You are such a bright spark of joy in our lives Lew, how could we have ever done this without you? After only 6 months it is absolutely impossible to imagine our lives any other way. You are here now and somehow it's like you always were. Your laugh is new, but so very familiar. Your big brother is proud and protective, eager to play with you and happy to scramble around the living room floor with you. You are a grey eyed, bald headed, big eared beauty. You are willful and loud and almost always smiling. You are daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin and niece. Lew, Lew-Lew, Llewella you are a perfect fit to our quirky little family. I am so glad you are here.

Love,

Mama

Halloween

Asa's friend

Summer sunshine

Green beans galore